A long overdue update....

Hello all... It has been awhile since I have updated anyone on the current happenings in my life.

If you haven't already figured it out, no, we did not make the short-list for the Island Reef caretaker job we were seeking out... Although this was disappointing, as certain things came to light over the past few months, it may have been for the better.

Many of you know I have been struggling with pain issues for quite some time now. The pain comes, and goes, but when I have extremely bad flare-ups it means that walking ceases to be an option for me... this includes even simple things such as going to the bathroom, where I am forced down on all fours to even get to the toilet (a little bit more information than you probably needed, but a good example as to just how severe my pain can become). After years and years of seeking out doctors to help me deal with this pain, I finally enlisted the help of a local spine center in the Northern New Jersey area. Although I am still in a great deal of pain, I feel like I have finally found a medical team who is not only sympathetic to my pain, but also is working very hard to try to alleviate this pain... For me, this has been nothing short of a miracle (just having empathy from a medical professional does quite a bit to ease the mind mentally).

So, onto what's going on with my pain situation.

After looking at my x-rays and MRIs, my new team has determined that my back is broken in two places... and probably has been for quite some time. Part of my pain comes from what is called spondylolysis, which is essentially the breakage of the facet joints on the L4 vertebrae of my spine.


This has contributed to spondilolisthesis of L5 and S1 (essentially a slipping forward of those vertabrae due to the instability of the upper bone).



On Wednesday, I received my first epidural in an attempt to control some of the back pain I am experiencing. Although, so far it has not gone as well as I had hoped, this is the first time I have felt that any of my medical professionals have taken a proactive approach in helping me conquer this sometimes debilitating factor of my life. Shorly after my edipural, I discovered that corticosteroids and I don't have the best relationship with each other. The last few days I have been dealing with elevated blood pressure and heart rate (up to 160/95 for bp, and 108 bpm). Thank god for small miracles such as Xanax to bring my heart rate back to normal! Three days after the injection, my back is feeling ok, but not great.

My doctor explained to both me and Eric that this would not cure me. Because of the bony degradation problems, joint problems, and disc problems in my back, it is possible that epidurals will not relieve the pain. It was also explained, that due to the nature of the breaks in my back, they are unable to heal on their own. The only way to actually fix my back is through a spinal fusion.

So, all in all, Eric and I (and also my family) have a pretty big decision to make as to whether or not I should go through with the surgery. It is a long recovery, and from what I know a fairly painful procedure, but we are starting to think that in the long run it may be the right thing to do to get me back to feeling like a normal 30-year old - things as simple as cooking, cleaning, and even just shaving my legs have become impossible for me to do without help at this point in my life.

So, that has been what's going on with me... Sorry it took so long for this update, but mentally this has been fairly difficult to deal with... but I am keeping my head held high since I know that feeling sorry for myself about the situation will do nothing but make everything worse. Having surgery will put our future plans for relocation on hold, but we both feel it is better for me to be functioning normally first before moving on to the next chapter of our lives.

So, for the next few weeks I will be monitoring myself to see how well this epidural takes hold. If this injection does not work, well, then surgery seems to be the only other option.

I promise not to wait so long in letting everyone know what is going on with my health, and hopefully soon I will happily be on the road to recovery.

In addition, I would like to thank everyone for all your kind words and thoughts that I have received recently through this difficult period in my life. I love all of you, and it would make it much harder to get through this without all of your support!

Blessed be!
Oksana